Dana the Anthropologist

Yuma, Arizona

Joshua Tree National Park is famous for Joshua Trees (of course) and big piles of rounded rocks. This type of terrain is so completely foreign to anything I have ever seen before that I am utterly mystified. I find myself scouring roadside bookshelves for identification books on cacti and the medicinal properties of desert plants. Afterall, now that we can count ourselves among the millions of uninsured Americans, prickly pears could be part of our preventitive health care plan!

Unfortunately, Joshua Tree was not all that dog-friendly (contrary to their "Dogs are Welcome" sign). Bailey had to be on a short leash at all times, never to be left in the trailer, and never to be on trails (even with a leash). The rules of the park also included very strict generator hours of 7-9am, noon to 2pm, and 5-7pm only. We decided that rather than skipping hiking altogether, we would, in typical Jon fashion, take the untrodden desert path. We were hoping to stumble upon an oasis or two. We managed to find an abandoned mine, an oasis, and a number of new cacti for me to puzzle over. As sunset rolled in over the desert, I questioned whether it would be a good time to return home. "We have to find the other oasis!", says Jon. Well, considering my night vision is very poor and I'm not fond of tripping over the so-called "Teddy-Bear Cholla Cactus" (pronounced choy-ya), a cactus that has more prickers than anything else, I insisted that we head home.

The desert is a great place to try to identify animal tracks and skat, since the tracks are generally in sand and may last for years and years. So far, we are pretty sure we've seen signs of lizards bunny rabbits, jack rabbits, beetles, side winders, various rodents, ground squirrels, and possibly coyotes and Big Horned Sheep. Even a person like me can't get lost when you can see for miles and miles out in the distance, or track yourself back home.

Jon and I are considering buying a little dirt bike because there is unlimited opportunity to ride. You see folks riding down the road and then tearing off into the desert wherever they please for a nice little joyride. Seems as though most everyone has a quad, motorcycle, sandrail, Jeep, or some other souped-up 4-bying machine. We're also starting to see a lot more golf carts.

In Blythe California, we were parked at an Ace Hardware. I was reading a book waiting for Jon. A very portly gentleman sidles up to the truck and says to me "Well you're a long ways away from home". Living in Portland and walking past throngs of homeless and otherwise sketchy looking folks each day has trained me in the art of avoidance of strangers. However, I have learned that friendly locals are the best source of information while on the road. So 'Ole Kelly and I get to talking and next thing you know, he turned us on to a most fabulous camping spot right next to the Colorado River where you can camp for free, unmolested, for 14 days. Then as long as you move 30ft or so, you can camp another 14 days for free. Then he went on to tell me which kind of fish were biting (bass and crappies in the backwater and flathead catfish in the Colorado) and what they were biting on (worms for the bass and live bass for the catfish). He also gave directions to the laundromat where worms could be purchased (since you can't dig your own in the desert) By the time Kelly was finished, Jon had joined in the conversation and was ready to invite Kelly to join us at our campfire for a beer. Kelly said he could jump on his quad right from his house and get there in a couple of minutes.

We ended up BBQ'ing a huge pile of beef ribs that night. I started out eating them with dainty bites until Jon came over and planted a big BBQy smooch on me and then I went for it whole hog, "taking it to the face" (as Jay would say), gnawing and ripping at tendons like Bailey, and generally making a disgusting pig out of my self. What a delicious meal!

Date Farm

Jon fishing for Bass and Catfish

Bailey on his bed - the fifth-wheel couch, what a spoiled dog!

My Grandparent's Backyard

One of the downfalls (pun intended) of trailer living

Need your teeth cleaned? Ask Jesus!

The line to get out of Mexico

This dog is for sale

Tequila Samples at the liquor store in Mexico

They take money very seriously in Mexico

This kid worked for about 30 min on this woman's shoes for $1 US. Check out the

the advertisement for an automatic shoe polisher on the inside of his kit.

Chili pepper flakes on my Bloody Mary in Mexico

Need a beer holster Cowboy?

These guys are making dentures

Coke is good for babies

These guys are pharmacists in Mexico

Flea Market and Tacky Kitsch Central, Quartzite Mexico

We went bass fishing the next morning. Jon was checking out a hole when he saw "a giant one swimming by". We dropped in our bobbers and sure enough, started getting bites right off the bat. I got two and Jon got five. Jon says (and I agree) that "pound for pound, bass are the best fighters around". They were jumping out of the water and tearing away from us the whole time. I have to say that I count this among the very few thrilling fishing trips that I have had.

Then that night, I asked Jon if he would like me to cut his hair. He says "yes, if you can cut it while I sit in a lawn chair and fish for catfish". I told him that he better not be jumping out of his chair every few minutes and he said "oh no, it takes hours for catfish to bite". So I get about halfway through his haircut when he hollers and I drop the scissors and he falls over in his enthusiasm to grab the rod. Turns out he had a lovely 6 pound flathead catfish on. We decided to let him go, since we already had more bass than we could eat. You'll notice that Jon's hair has been looking extremely well kept lately.

Jon and his beauty of a Flathead Catfish

I had a bit of a snafu making french bread, turns out that you have to read EVERY single sentence of the 4 paragraghs of steps involved and that whole wheat bread has to rise 3 times and french bread has to rise twice. Anyways, we ate some really delicious bass sandwiches on freshly baked bread

My 2nd (successful) attempt at homemade bread

Our Bass Bonanza

Secret Bass Hole

Jon cooking ribs on the BBQ for dinner

Sunset on the Colorado River

Our sweet camping spot on the Colorado River

Sunrise in Joshua Tree National Park

Sunset in Joshua Tree National Park

Bailey, The Intrepid Explorer

Jon and Bailey on top of Mammoth Mountain

Ocatillo Cactus at sunset

Jon, the Intrepid Explorer

Split rock at Joshua Tree National Park

Mine at Joshua Tree National Park

Abandoned Mine

Dana, Joshua Tree National Park

Oasis in Joshua Tree National Park

Ocatillo Cactus up close

Inside of a Cholla Cactus

Teddy Bear Cholla Cactus

Joshua Tree Cacti

California Barrel Cactus

Yucca and Prickly Pear Cactus

Bailey's trying to follow Jon, but isn't sure he can make it up the rock

Shoe Tree (Palo Verde)

Bailey's Bass Phobia

We are now in Yuma and I feel like I am an anthropologist, studying a whole new culture. I used to scoff at snowbirds and felt that back packing was the only true form of camping. That is until I became one of them. We came to visit my granpappy and his sweet little girlfriend Bevie. We've been whooping it up with them for half a week now, and already Jon is checking out real estate. Just try to imagine your life if you had all the time in the world to play and party and hang out with all your beast friends, at least until you heart craps out or your knees fail to function. At least then you can still sit around swapping tall tales and drinking beers in the hot hot Arizona winters. Or hop in your shiny new sand rail and head out into the desert with your sweetheart for the day. All the women are losing their husbands and finding new ones. (The odds are pretty sweet for the old dudes). If you get bored of Yuma, you can hop over to Mexico and purchase your cheap drugs (add that to Jon and Dana's gypsy health care plan), be serenaded by live music everywhere you go, and sweet-talked into buying all sorts of baubles and trinkets. If you like bartering, you can talk 'em down from $160 for turquoise jewlery to $20. Amazing how the price drops when you barter like Jon...

"Very special price for you sir, originally $60, I give it to you for $40"

Jon says "how about $20?"

"these sunglasses have real glass! very clear! ok, you take them for $30, special price for you"

Jon says "how about $18?"

Everyone is friendly here, everyone waves, everyone loves our giant beast of a dog, and has something interesting to point us in the direction of. I've been walking the dog 3 times in "the wash", a dry river bed, and have met a variety of interesting folks from all over the world. One fellow, Marvin is from Sauvies Island (a few miles from my house in Portland). My new walking buddy, Angelique, is from the Netherlands. Everyone's husband is named Jon, so I fit right in. I spent a wonderful superbowl sunday with 50 or so of my grandparents friends and couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard at all the good stories coming out of the "hens corner". Everyone is looking forward to my grandparents "Pirate Party" on Valentines Day.

Grandpappy and Bevie took us to Martinez Lake for some fishing and cocktails. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. We checked out the local animal reserve and the parachuter dropping out of a plane in the Army proving grounds. Bevie treated us to a delicious date shake, made with the fresh dates from the nearby farm (so delicious).

All in all, I'm pretty convinced that the 'ole fogies have got things pretty well figured out. Either that or Jon and I do :)